Rain!

At last!

Sweet Sixteen

Boo turned 16 on Tuesday, if you can believe it! We reminisced about when she was a newborn, how she would cry and then abruptly fall asleep, as if someone had flipped a switch. About how Mowgli was convinced that she would be a girl and then she was and about how tenderly he loved her . . . until he lost interest because she couldn't play with him. We talked about how much she blesses our family and about what good things her future holds.
That night, she had a swimming party at our neighborhood pool. It was a beautiful, cool night and the sky was gorgeous all around us as the sun went down. About 20 kids and adults showed up and Boo glowed the whole time. Here are a few photos:

Catching up . . .

Well, I promise, no politics, no philosophy for awhile. Here's what's going on:

We still love Austin, even though we don't get a chance to do much. Between grand jury and meeting pastors, I've learned to navigate the city pretty well. Remember when I used to be terrified to drive on the freeway in Houston? That seems like a lifetime ago. I get places early because I forget that "the other side of town" is a LOT closer than it used to be. On the other hand, in Houston, only the Katy Freeway and part of 290 can compare traffic-wise to Austin.

We are still without several staff positions so C is working all the time but has gotten much better at protecting his heart and his time. We'll be happy when the staff is complete again, though. He still loves it here and feels effective and creative.

No vacation this year--just an 8 day trip to get Mowgli to North Carolina, get him settled and drive home as fast as we can so C can preach on Sunday. He starts school on August 13. I'm doing okay, thanks for wondering. I was really sad at the first of the year but I'm doing much better. He's so excited about it, that helps.

I'm seeing about 7-9 clients per week, with about 12 clients total. I still need to double my client load and don't fully understand why that's not happening faster. The good news is that my current load pays the bills and a little more; the bad news is that it won't for the long term.

I'm also working on some other projects:

• a community-based marriage preparation program designed for couples from small-medium sized churches as well as couples who don't go to church, "Happily Ever After." I'm pitching it to local congregations and trying to raise money.
• a marriage support format called "Dinner and a Marriage"
• marketing my skills and experience in counseling ministry leaders
• creating a leadership development program for a small denomination headquartered in Michigan
• continued work with Faithwalking
• putting together at least one group for women ministry leaders connected to the Pastors In Covenant ministry here in Austin
• maybe even doing some writing . . . haven't given myself over to this one yet, but

And then, of course, there's home. We're teaching Boo how to drive and making sure Mowgli knows everything he needs to know before he leaves home. If your children are little, go kiss them on their sweaty little heads because it will be over before you know it.

At church, I'm playing a pretty traditional ministry wife role, trying to get to know people and hear their stories. We're also transitioning from my Young Married Sunday School class to a comprehensive Young Adult Ministry and I'll be helping to head that up. I try to stay active in Women's Ministry without actually serving on the committee, so I'm having a book club at my house in August. You know that in Houston, I never sat in the same place on Sunday mornings, preferring to move around and sit with different people. But here, every week, someone says to me, "I haven't seen you in ages," which means they're telling other people, "I love our new pastor but his wife doesn't come very often," so I think I'll pick a spot and stick with it. Live and learn!

For the first time in my life, I'm exercising regularly and I thoroughly enjoy it. I can't seem to make myself get up early to go work out, but maybe that will come as I get busier.

So I'm doing well but miss all of you more than you can imagine. I know, I know, we have technology nowadays that can help with that--I'm terrible--but I just wanted you to know. Love to all--

Am I wrong?

A year or so ago, a neutral media watch group did an analysis of Fox News and found that their news coverage is actually pretty bias-free, which surprised a lot of people who assumed that there was a conservative bias. I paid attention to that and stopped making snarky comments, even sharing the results of the study with others.

But what about lately? Well, first there was the commentator (white, female) who was talking about the Clinton's unfortunate comment implying that Obama might be assassinated before the election. This pundit then says that "some want to 'knock off Osama . . . Obama . . . (laughing) well, both, if we could." I don't remember which Fox personality said that he didn't want to "go on a lynching party" against Michelle Obama, then added, "unless (unless??) there's hard evidence" that she holds what he would consider anti-American views. Then there was the referral by a Fox News anchor to the Obamas' "terrorist fist jab"--what?! A banner headline at the bottom of the page refers to Michelle Obama as "Obama's baby mama"--that one can't even be attributed to an accidental gaffe since someone actually wrote it down and thought it would be okay. And don't even get me started about Ann Coulter.

I guess what bothers me most is that this is the most popular cable news source in the country and that there just doesn't seem to be much outrage on the part of its viewers. Sean Hannity defends some of his more outrageous comments by saying that he received no negative mail about them. Is that because the kinds of people who watch Fox News aren't offended by these things? Am I too sensitive because I am? Don Imus's comment about the Rutgers' womens' basketball team was not substantially more racist or sexist than the idea that Michelle Obama--an accomplished attorney and businesswoman--can be reduced to "Obama's baby mama." He lost his job, his show, and his reputation. People at least pretended to be outraged. I just don't get it.

I make it a point to make sure I'm getting my news and opinions from a variety of sources, including those that don't typically reflect my views, which means that I occasionally listen to a particular talk show that makes me want to shoot my radio--it's good practice in self-differentiation and I do actually learn something from time to time. I worry about people who only go to the news channels and websites that support their views (something you couldn't really do when your only options were the national ten o'clock news and your local daily paper) and I worry about the culture they form.

We're done!

According the certificate I received today, I have spent the last three months--and I quote--"materially contributing to the maintenance of Liberty Under Law through the Fair and Impartial Administration of Justice." Wow.

My term on the Travis County grand jury ended today and although I think we all enjoyed our service and learned a lot (although one juror did say, jokingly, that he was saving the last bullet for himself), we were mostly glad it was over.

As you probably know, grand jury proceedings are secret. We all took an oath to the effect that we "would not reveal by word or sign" the details of our work. So, as I process aloud in this forum, I will only describe those things that are a matter of public record or my own personal subjective experience.

So if you could be a fly on the wall during the proceedings of the 2008 grand jury of the 331st district court, what would you see? Well, first, you would see 12 people with the best of intentions--all "upstanding citizens," a fact to which we swore three months ago when we were impaneled. (The only other test for service was that we were eligible to vote in Travis County.) You would see a group that ranged in age from younger than Barack Obama to older than Moses--but no one under 40. You'd be pretty impressed by the ethnic diversity, which reflected Travis County demographics pretty accurately.

You'd see these 12 people devoting an average of ten hours a week assembled in a large horseshoe behind the kind of desks that you see city council members at on public access TV. Each grand juror has a legal pad, a pen, and a list of prosecutors and cases scheduled for the day. As each prosecutor presents cases, describing the offense and the evidence linking the offense to the accused, grand jurors listen carefully, ask questions, take notes. Sometimes someone has brought food to share and breaks are used for socializing and complimenting the recipe. More often, grand jurors have brought their own drinks and snacks, used as much for staying alert as for nourishment. Sometimes there are witnesses or photographs or videotapes. More often, there is just an offense report and subsequent interviews.

Once the prosecutor has presented cases, he or she leaves the room and deliberations begin. At the beginning of the term, you would have seen the group fumble for direction and proceed cautiously. You would almost see the question, "Are we doing this right?" forming in thought balloons above each head. Soon, though, you would be amazed at how efficient and well-ordered the process became--in part due to our foreperson who had a hard job that only got harder over time. As you watched her, you would learn a few things about leadership and you would be reminded of how easy it is to critique someone else when you're not actually having to do the job yourself.

You would see both the democratic ideal and textbook group process emerge as individuals with vastly different points of view and cultural experiences struggle together to determine what justice is, never forgetting that the lives of individuals are at stake (both victims and defendants). You would also see them constantly bringing themselves back to the task at hand: Is the level of probable cause in this case reasonable enough to warrant an indictment and a trial? You would be surprised at how difficult it is--given people's natural emotions, such as curiosity or outrage and their over-exposure to crime shows and police dramas--to focus on probable cause and you would be really proud of how well this group did.

Then you would see a series of votes, taking each allegation separately, giving it the attention it deserves. Although it only takes nine votes to indict, you probably wouldn't be surprised to see that most votes are unanimous and efficient since most of the time, the facts are not really in dispute. But, of course, you'd remember the difficult cases, the cases framed by debate and ambiguity and reflection and you'd be amazed at how often consensus could eventually be reached and how decisions were respected by the dissenters.

So how does this story end? Well, we heard over 1000 cases. Most we indicted (true-billed), some we no-billed and some we passed on for various reasons. And now we're done.

The strangest movie that I've ever seen that I'll never forget

What if you were part of a community of people that were willing to love you no matter what? What if, no matter how odd you were or how inappropriate or how uncomfortable you made them feel, they were committed to care for you like family? What if they asked themselves, "What would Jesus do?" and then did it--just for you? Don't you think that kind of love might win the day?

Tonight we watched a quirky, eccentric film called "Lars and the Real Girl." I won't even describe the plot because it would come across as farcical and absurd. It's a ridiculous premise that, in the hands of wise writers and actors, becomes a gentle parable about how the foolish teach the wise, about how real community expressed creates love, about how there is no reason to feel ashamed because we all have something, because "these things happen." It's a sweet love story like you've never seen before.

Agreeing to disagree (with myself)

I reread my untitled blog entry from May 28 and decided I don't really agree with it after all. (That's really something, to disagree with yourself!) I had several opportunities to listen well last week--with dear friends, with hurting people, with family--and the truth is, I love it. I love being able to offer to the people I care about something real--the space to think through their own thoughts and a caring place to feel what they feel. And I don't really feel deprived of that in my own life--if you're reading this blog, chances are that I could pick up the phone and have your loving attention in a heartbeat.

So what was it that I was trying to say? I think I was frustrated with feeling used. It's probably the same way that accountants feel when people pump them for free tax advice at parties or the way doctors feel when people say, "Could you just look at this place on my back real quick?" It's when I sense that the other person has no interest in me or in a real friendship (maybe it's the fact that they talk for hours without ever asking?) and when they demand my time and sympathy. I think maybe it's the "pastor's wife" label--it makes people think they're entitled to it and frankly, sometimes it makes me feel as though I have to give it to them. So maybe that's what I was trying to say. Or maybe not. We'll see . . .