How did I do this to myself AGAIN? I want to blame some kind of elaborate Christmas conspiracy but it's pretty obvious that it's my own darn fault. Christmas comes on the exact same date every year. It's just not possible for it to sneak up on me and yet, every year, it does. Every year, I end up in a holiday frenzy (during what is invariably a super-busy time for me at work)--wrapping presents in the middle of the night, wandering around the mall wondering about who wants what, paying exorbitant shipping fees for faster delivery.
I am actually smart enough to understand that if something keeps happening over and over, there's either a thinking problem or a system problem and so this is what I've come up with: even though I know that Christmas is over there lurking at the end of every year, just waiting to pounce, I stay in denial about it until the end of November. "I don't want to get ready for Christmas while it's 85 degrees outside," I insist. "I LOVE to do my preparation during the Christmas season, when the carols are playing and the decorations are up! I'll just wait til then!" I'm an idiot.
So, the new plan is to change my thinking and get started on Christmas early next year, at least by October (when, come to think of it, there may be Christmas carols and decorations in at least some over-anxious stores.) In the meantime, I'll try to keep the self-flagellation at a minimum. I was being pretty mean to myself this morning and C reached over and patted me. "Sweetie, you're only 45 years old; don't be so hard on yourself." I love this man.
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So, perhaps you are being invited to give yourself the rare and precious gift of self-compassion this year.
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