I want to write something about Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent but it's all swirling around inside me and doesn't want to be formed into words just yet. Something about how sobering and helpful it is to be reminded of the importance of true repentance which I'm going to define for now as grief about the brokenness of our world and my own life and a deep, genuine desire for transformation.
I want to write something about how my friend--a very devout Roman Catholic--used to get so excited about realizing it was okay to pray extemporaneously and how she loved to "just pray her heart," as she put it, a whole new practice for her. That was happening right about the time that I was realizing that sometimes the ancient prayers expressed my heart better than my own words could--that somehow my heart would rise and expand to fit the beauty and truthfulness of the prayers of others.
I would write about how blessed I've been to add to my life from the traditions of Christians around the world and throughout time and how grateful I am that they are available to me. And I would say something about how nervous I am about my Lenten experiment in making choices and how challenged I feel by it. If I could just put it into words, these are some of the things I would say.