Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Reality (aka, The Most Pathetic Blog Post Ever)

I'm weary.

No, I'm not complaining. I was tempted once to complain about how busy this season is and I realized that if God heard me and said, "Oh, I'm so sorry! I never meant to overload you. What would you like me to take away?" I would immediately straighten up and say, "Nothing!" (Of course, as long as He was feeling so accomodating, I might ask for a few extra hours in a day . . . never hurts to ask, right?)

But the reality is that I've exceeded my ability to manage it all. And I'm tired. And sick. And poor Boo was eating a hunk of Parmesan cheese for breakfast the other morning because, in her words, "When you're gone, we have no food." In fairness to C, that's not at all true but I think it feels that way to all of us sometimes. (I made her oatmeal, by the way, which she loves.)

Rick Warren said, "Doing the work of God at this pace is destroying the work of God in my life" or something like that. He's scads busier than I am, but we all only have the same 24 hours and the same 7 days.

My mantra for this season has been "Be here, be now" and I can honestly say that I've done that. And my word for the year is "wholehearted" and I'm managing that most of the time too. I'm just tired, physically and emotionally. And overwhelmed. And way behind. (I'm positive that when I finally get around to sweeping, there will be enough cat hair in the dustpan to make a whole new cat. And don't even get me started about my paperwork and my billing.)

Once I really was complaining about my schedule to a new friend who frowned and said, "Why does your secretary let this happen?" When I told her that I didn't have a secretary, she blurted out, "You do this to your SELF?"

I don't have a day off until next Saturday (the 13th) at which time I plan to either sleep all day or be incredibly productive, I haven't decided which yet. And don't leave me any comments, either, because no matter what you say, I'll wish I hadn't posted this. But sometimes people say, "I don't know how you do it all!" and I just wanted to be honest that sometimes I don't.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

OK, you said no comments, but I couldn't resist. I love this. As well as I know you, you always seem so together...even when you aren't. I felt a sick kind of comfort in knowing that during this season you are experiencing the same kind of "I can't catch my breath" sensation. Thanks for posting.